


How it Might Have (Should Have) Gone

by StephaniD



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Changing POV, Documentary: What We Left Behind (Star Trek), Gen, Jezri breakup, Season 8 Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25383553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephaniD/pseuds/StephaniD
Summary: I have Opinions about the s8 opener from the DS9 Doc, so I rewrote it.Jezri is no more, Garashir is back, Julian's a doctor, Ben returned to watch his son grow up, Kira trusts her friends and has a wife, Nog doesn't die... I didn't go back and rewatch the entire thing so I might not hit all the plot points, I left out some stuff on purpose, and tried to make the things I kept make sense. This ends just about where the doc ends.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	How it Might Have (Should Have) Gone

**Author's Note:**

> -Thanks to Q, Quin, Reese for their ideas, and Reese for betaing!-  
> (The first name in a paragraph denotes whose POV it is, bolded for ease. Prose in italics are scenes that happened between seasons 7 and 8.)

_ It never really occurred to  _ **_Kira_ ** _ that she could step down as leader of Deep Space 9. People suggested it to her, of course, Benjamin Sisko, Ezri Dax, Julian Bashir, but she never felt anyone else could handle leading the confusing station. No Starfleet personnel could adequately understand the importance of the Celestial Temple, those who came to honor the Orb of the Emissary. But a Bajoran would struggle to work with and understand Starfleet and how they ran things. While the Starfleets and Bajorans worked well together, they still had the occasional clashes, and while Kira knew she could be biased, she didn’t trust others to not be more biased than her. And while she did take a few days off every now and then to go down to Bajor and visit the Emissary, sample his springwine, spend time with his family, if she had left the station, she wouldn’t have met her wife Ikba Khaaya, a Cardassian woman who both supported and challenged her. And she was friends with many of the station families, who would undoubtedly miss her, and she would miss them, if she were to leave.  _

-

_ “Jul, you don’t have to do this.”  _ **_Ezri_ ** _ put a hand on her husband’s shoulder as he stared at a black padd, sitting at his desk at home.  _

_ “I think I do.” He sighed.  _

_ “You hate them.” She pointed out.  _

_ “I hate their methods, but if I were to join them, I could affect change more easily.” He explained, turning to face her. “Officially, Section 31 doesn’t exist, so they operate under very little oversight. This seems like the best way to curb their…” He searched for the right word.  _

_ “But before you’d be able to affect change, you’ll have to carry out missions for them. You know what kind of things they might ask you to do.” Ezri pleaded. “How long would it take you to rise in the ranks enough that you could change the culture of the entire organization? How long would you have to put on a mask and pretend every single day that you enjoyed the work?”  _

_ “I don’t know, Ez.” He sighed. “But I have to try. Someone has to try to make it right, and since I know what’s going on, and I have this opportunity…”  _

_ “I know.” She sighed as well and leaned over to rest their foreheads together. “I can’t fault you for doing what’s right, but I worry about you taking on too much.”  _

_ “I love you too.” He smiled, giving her a quick kiss.  _

_ - _

_ “Julian, this work is killing you.”  _ **_Ezri_ ** _ stated, sitting down next to her husband curled up on the couch, staring at a black padd. “You can’t tell me anything about your missions, you never want to do anything, you’re sleeping more often, but not restfully… You know what depression looks like, please, please talk to someone.” She cradled his cheek in a hand, her thumb stroking the bags under his eyes.  _

_ “I can’t talk to anyone, Ez.” He sighed sadly. “Not you, not a counselor, not someone at work. If they knew how I really feel-”  _

_ “I know but-!” Ezri stood. “I can’t stand seeing what it’s doing to you! It is killing you, Julian, and you don’t know how much longer you’ll have to do this!” Ezri said angrily.  _

_ “But I  _ _ have _ _ to do this!” He replied, matching her anger.  _

_ “No, you don’t! Quit! Quit before the stress of this kills you!”  _

_ “I can’t! I’m the only one who-” He cut off as Ezri stormed out of the room. Maybe he truly was the only one who had a chance of changing Section 31 from the inside, but she didn’t have to watch it destroy him. She sat on their bed and sniffled, remembering Audrid’s parting with Neema, Jadzia’s with Lenara. She remembered learning how to counsel people through rough times in their relationships, remembered naively thinking that with this knowledge she’d never have a fight again.  _

_ “Ez?” He stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset. I am really stressed from work, and I wish I could talk to someone about it, but I shouldn’t have yelled at you, it’s not your fault.” He waited while Ezri took a deep breath, they met halfway between the bed and the door.  _

_ “Jul, I- I meant it when I said I can’t stand seeing you like this.” She took his hands in her own. “Please, please don’t let Section 31 take the man I love from me. Not any more than they already have.” His head sunk and he squeezed her hands for a moment before dropping them and leaving the room. That was it, then.  _

-

_ Intrigued,  _ **_Elim_ ** _ opened the communique from the man he hadn’t heard from in years. It had a surprising amount of encoding on it, but he easily remembered their discussions on the subject and made short work of making it readable.  _

_ “Oh, my dear doctor…” He murmured in worry, reading between the lines to the things Julian Bashir couldn’t say. He had expected the man’s marriage to fail to be sure, but wasn’t happy that his old friend was in pain, and extended an invitation to return to DS9, as Julian had hinted.  _

_ Elim met Julian getting off the transport, instantly taking in his careful posture, sagging skin beneath his eyes, darting glances.  _

_ “My dear doctor, I would say that it is good to see you, but what  _ _ are _ _ you wearing?” Elim smiled warmly, glad to see Julian smile in response.  _

_ “I suppose you have something better in your shop?”  _

_ “It should fit you, but I’ll need to retake your measurements just to be sure. It may take some time.”  _

_ “Well, if your tailoring skills have held up, it will be time well spent.” Their cover thus established, Elim kept a hand on Julian’s back until they were safely in the rear portion of his shop.  _

_ “I am sorry to hear about the dissolution of your marriage.” Elim prompted as he got his tape measure.  _

_ “Thanks. That’s kind of why I wanted to talk to you. We divorced over my job.”  _

_ “Oh? And what are you doing that caused Counselor Dax to divorce you?”  _

-

**_Ben_ ** _ grinned hugely as he held their baby for the first time, Joseph Yates-Sisko screaming as his father stroked his head. He and Kasidy tasted the springwine from their first crop of moba fruit. They cheered as their son caught the baseball for the first time. They came home from a date to find Jake and Joe asleep on the couch. They proudly displayed Jake’s first novel in their home,  _ _ Anslem _ _.  _

-

**Kira** was glad to welcome all her old friends back to the station, to introduce them to Ikba, to catch up on each others’ lives. She'd known that Ezri and Julian were divorced shortly after he returned to the station, though this was her first time seeing Ezri since it happened. She was glad to see the O'Briens doing well (though Molly did give her the occasional update), to get to hug her Kirayoshi, taller than she was. Her mouth nearly dropped open in surprise when Quark gave Rom a snail juice on the house. 

“Colonel Kira! Aunt Nerys!” A small group of children ran up, one tossing her a baseball. 

“Already?” She asked, the children grinned. “Well guess what? This ball belongs to that tall human with no hair.” Kira pointed at Ben Sisko. “Normally he tells me where to hide it, but since he’s here, you can go tell him you found it.” She tossed the baseball back. 

“The Emissary is here?” One of the kids asked. 

“I’m gonna tell him first!” Another said, grabbing the baseball and running as the others gave chase. 

“What did you just do?” Ikba smiled and held Kira close. 

“He loves kids, look at him.” Kira grinned, watching the Emissary talk with the children. 

**Ezri** smiled at Julian and Garak when she entered Quark's, glad they were happy together, glad Garak had convinced Julian to quit Section 31. Things were still awkward between them, but she supposed things would be awkward for any people who got a divorce. Garak stood to the side as Miles loudly greeted his old friend and Yoshi hugged his Uncle Julian. 

"Hey, Old Man." Ezri turned round at the hand on her shoulder, grinning up at her friend. 

"I'd say you're the old man now." She teased. 

"I think the grey in his beard makes him look distinguished." Jake grinned, wrapping an arm around his father's shoulders. 

“You only say that because you’re worried about grey hairs.” Joe laughed. 

"Good to see you, Dax. Congratulations on making Captain." Ben shook her hand. 

“You already congratulated me, but thanks again, Ben.” 

"Now I can shake your hand." He grinned. 

"Speaking of Captain, did Nog say when he'd be arriving?" Kasidy asked. 

“I think Kira said sometime soon.” Ezri replied. 

“Miles! How’s the shoulder?”  **Julian** grinned, clapping his old friend on the back. 

“ That’s the first thing you ask me about?” Miles laughed. “No ‘how’s the wife and kids’, it’s ‘how’s the shoulder’.” 

“Well I see Molly every few days, and I can see Keiko and Yoshi are fine!” Julian defended. “Great to see you both.” He said, hugging them as well. 

“You too, Julian.” Keiko grinned. “His shoulder’s good, teaching’s been good to him. Loads of students come back to give guest lectures in his classes.” 

“If you’re such a great teacher, why do your old students want to take time away from you teaching?” Julian teased. 

“Har har.” Miles replied, grinning as well. 

“Hey, Ezri.”  **Kira** smiled. 

“I just noticed you got a new earring, it’s very nice.” Ezri commented. 

“My wife, the vedek.” Ikba smiled, Kira rolled her eyes. 

“Honorary vedek. It’s meaningless, I haven’t even studied the texts enough to be a Ranjen and the Vedek assembly honorarily appointed me as a Vedek for protecting the Celestial Temple.” Kira dismissed. 

“Congratulations on your marriage, by the way.” Ezri smiled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here.” 

“No, it’s fine, you’re here now.” Kira assured. “You were busy. And I’m sorry about you and Julian, did you want me to keep you apart or anything?” 

“You don’t have to do that, we’re all mature adults.” Ezri replied. “Tell me about you two, how did you meet?” 

“I was doing a study on religion and came here to observe since Cardassia doesn’t have a religious mythology, only a governmental one.” Ikba explained. 

“Mythology.” Kira scoffed, Ikba grinned. 

“I interviewed the honorary Vedek here and she kept getting upset-” 

“You were asking very insensitive questions.” Kira mock-defended. 

“And as she well knows, arguing is flirting on Cardassia-” Ikba continued. 

“So you admit you were flirting.” Kira grinned, Ikba and Ezri laughed. 

“You’re the one who never held her tongue when you knew how I’d interpret your anger.” Ikba teased. 

“I shouldn’t have to rein in my anger just because someone else interprets it differently.” Kira replied simply. "We're on Bajor, where anger means I'm angry."    


“The Prophets have blessed you with patience as we've aged.” Ikba smiled. 

“No, that was you.” Kira chuckled. “I have to be patient when you keep trying to rile me up.” 

“It’s all true.” Ikba smiled at Ezri. 

**Worf** entered the bar to find his old crewmates drinking and talking. He was waiting for a bloodwine when Miles O’Brien spotted him. 

“Worf! Good to see you, glad you could make it!” His old crewmate grabbed his shoulder with a grin. 

“It is good to see you all, as well.” He replied, turning to face the group, all smiling at him. He went around and greeted everyone, discussed his uniform with Garak, his duties with Kira’s wife and Miles O’Brien some when they asked. 

“Ezri.” He never seemed to know what to say to the latest host to Dax, the woman who carried his wife’s memories. “It is good to see you. I was sorry to hear about you and Doctor Bashir.” 

“Please don’t say ‘I told you so’.” She was smiling a bit. Worf readjusted his posture. 

“That would not be honorable. Nor would it be the actions of a friend.” He replied. Ezri grinned and hugged him. 

“It’s good to see you too, Worf.” 

**Ben** grinned at everyone catching up in Quark’s. Even Rom and Leeta had made it, and Morn was still here. He had done his best to keep in touch with everyone, of course, but it was nice to see them all back together, and with a few additions. They were just missing one person, who was due to arrive soon. Everyone turned towards the screens as they buzzed on, but Nog was in a panic and the bridge of the Defiant was in tatters. 

“They’re right on our tail, took out our engines. Colonel, you may have-” He was cut off by an explosion just before the signal cut out. Kira was immediately on comms with her crew to get the details of Nog’s situation and aid the Defiant, Rom ran towards the second floor to watch what happened, a number of the old crew following. 

**Nerys** , Julian, and a whole mess of others went to the airlocks to help when they heard that escape pods were being released from the ship and tractored to the station. Most pods held two or three people instead of the recommended one. Some crew were able to walk under their own power, others necessitated a yell for a doctor. Nerys saw nurses directing officers with anti-grav stretchers, officers helping each other walk or even carrying each other. The airlock opened for the next pod and Nerys turned to find Captain Nog slumped on the floor. 

“BASHIR!” She hollered, he was at her side seconds later scanning the captain. 

“Computer, emergency transport, myself and Nog to sickbay.” Bashir commanded, and he was gone. 

“Bashir!” Someone called. Nerys took a deep breath. 

“I need a medic!” Someone else yelled. Nerys turned to the closest nurse. 

“Tell me how I can help.” She said as a nearby explosion rocked the station. 

“Keep the corridor passable, direct empty stretchers to those with a hand up. Occupied stretchers have priority.” He replied before jogging to someone calling for help. So Nerys directed traffic until all escape pods were retrieved, getting updates on comms. Station shields held, the explosion had been the Defiant, there had been no life forms aboard. Source of the detonation currently unknown. 

**Kira** sighed as she read over the padd. From what they could tell, the Defiant had exploded due to phaser fire, but they hadn’t detected any other ships in the area. So a ship coming through the wormhole, following Nog, probably cloaked. The list of injured was long, but most had a very good prognosis, and there was no-one unaccounted for. But down at the bottom was the more serious news. Nog had suffered a severe brain injury and was in critical condition, awaiting an emergency medical transport to Starbase 235 with his father and Doctor Bashir. She shivered, wrapped a shawl around her shoulders, and went to announce the news to the Promenade. 

“Colonel, any idea who did this?” Someone called when Kira had finished. 

“When I know more, you’ll know more.” She replied. 

**Kira** had suspicions about some of her crew and asked her old friends to investigate what Nog had been up to, particularly Dax and O’Brien. Some of the station personnel had been rumored to have certain extreme views. So she introduced O’Brien to her Chief Engineer, and Dax to her Chief of Security as old friends, experts in their fields who may be useful to discovering what happened. She wished Odo was here, but The Great Link had moved and she didn’t know where to, or how to contact them. 

“Colonel?”  **Ezri** asked as she entered Kira’s office. 

“Yes, Captain?” Kira set a padd down. 

“I’ve heard reports that you and Nog have been arguing recently, and had a heated argument just before the Defiant left.” Ezri got straight to the point. 

“What we were arguing about has nothing to do with this.” Kira dismissed. 

“I figured as much, I’m asking who would have motive to frame you?” Ezri replied. “Why ask me to investigate, why not leave it to your Chief of Security?” Was Kira giving herself, or whoever attacked Nog, a way to undermine the credibility of the investigation? Or was she honestly being framed? Or was their arguing just a coincidence? How did the head of the station not know what a Starfleet captain serving under her was doing? Ezri waited as Kira frowned in thought. 

“I have a theory, and a few people I’d like you to investigate, but it’s going to take some acting to make it work.” 

“One of those people is Security Chief Palik.” Ezri guessed grimly. Kira nodded. 

“You are doing better, Jul?”  **Ezri** asked softly, sharing a second-story table at Quark’s with her ex-husband and his fiance. 

“Yeah. Got back into medicine. When the two most important people in your life tell you the same advice, you kind of have to listen.” Julian smiled. “Thank you again for caring about me, and I’m sorry I pushed you away.” 

“What’s past is past. I have some questions about Section 31, and a theory on who attacked Nog, and I was hoping to hear your thoughts on it, both of you.” Ezri glanced at Garak as well. The men glanced at each other before nodding at her. 

“Captain,” Garak began at slightly above normal volume, “could I possibly tempt you to add a scarf to your ensemble?” 

“You know that’s against Starfleet regulations, Garak.” Ezri replied as they all stood. 

“Even for captains?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Even for captains, but if you want to try to convince me about off-duty hours, I guess you can try, for old time’s sake.” 

“Then my shop awaits.” 

The old crew had wound up in the Replimat, wound up talking about Nog and the Defiant. 

“I’ve heard rumors that Nog was arguing with the Colonel, but no-one knows what about-”  **Miles** started. 

“You can’t honestly be insinuating that Kira had Nog killed.” Ben Sisko interrupted. 

“No-one knows what he was up to out there, not even his crew, or if they do know they’re not talking. We haven’t found the logs yet-” Miles replied. 

“Dad, you haven’t seen Captain Nog in over 20 years.” Molly chided, everyone quieted at her anger. “He is a Starfleet captain. You all remember him as a kid! But I’ve served with him, and he deserves your respect, not baseless accusation.” 

“You all need to leave the station.” Palik stated as he approached. “Orders from the Colonel.” 

“This is the first I’ve heard of this.” Ezri stared down the Bajoran man, it was clear from her demeanor that she was used to being listened to, and wouldn’t be intimidated by the security chief’s height or phaser. 

“Orders are orders, Captain, you need to get back on your ship and go home.” 

“What about Molly and Julian?” Miles objected. “They live here.” 

“And they need to return to their quarters. Those who don’t live here need to leave.” 

“Even the Emissary?” Joseph Sisko asked, arms crossed. Ben Sisko sighed. 

“Those who don’t live here need to leave.” Palik repeated forcefully. 

“No.” Worf stated. “If Colonel Kira wished us to leave, she would tell us herself. We do not take orders from you.” 

“Last time I’m saying it.” Palik pointed his phaser at Worf. “Leave now.” 

**Kira** pushed through the security officers to stand between them and her friends, everyone pointing phasers at each other. 

“Bajor needs to join the Federation, but it will never do so as long as it is tied down by religion. Once we close the wormhole, the Emissary becomes just a man. The Prophets become a fairytale. And Bajor can finally move forward.” Palik was explaining. She should have known it was him. She turned her back to her friends and raised her phaser at her Chief of Security. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if this was difficult or confusing to read, I did my best to make it clear, but I'm always open to suggestions!


End file.
